words that hurt feelings

Sometimes I use harsh words.

float

So here I am.  Another city.  Short stay.

Computers, Cell Phone, Internet, lots of furniture

Where am I heading?

May I go back?  Is there a place named home?

attitude

okay, I can accept that you would like me to help even though that is your job to close the case now.  however, I am not obliged to offer my time and energy and to figure out what you actually need.  So maybe you should change that attitude.

snob appeal

to a certain degree, I am snobbish.  this does not necessarily mean that I despise people who are less smart or in lower class.  however, I do enjoy something with more snob appeal. 

reality

the reality would always be that we are afraid the chances of failure are bigger than success: the one we give all our hearts will betray us; the person who once loved us will leave; the sky will collapse some day, and it will not be likely to control everything even if we want.

The point locates on whether we are satisfied with the result when comparing to the efforts we make.  On the other hand, life is full of risks.  Yet some risks are controllable while others are not.  It is to trust our own feelings while surveying all possibilities in advance in a limited amount of time.  Make a choice, and then go for it.  If you are conservative and insecure, you might leave a room for getting hurt.  If you are courageous, brave, and gutsy, you will be ready for the full enjoyment of a process of reaching what you want.  It is to my belief that while the latter attitude can bring the ultimate euphoria, the former attitude keeps you from full enjoyment but limits the harm you may get.  There is no correct answer for adopting which ways of thinking.  However, as a mature grown-up, people always examine what they have before taking the first step.  Some people are ambitious for greatness while others are content with the present situation.  It can be argued that the future is unpredictable.  Are you ready for the changing environment?  I don’t have a clue.  But it is sometimes necessary to maintain the continuous heart-searching.

The peace locates on the moment where you are, and where you are going to.

 

going on

despite striving for final exams and delayed dissertation proposal, I was watching a Taiwanese soap opera “my queen” recently.

the plot was about one 30 something female professional, who is under the pressure of Asian society value system of getting married before 33 and dating a younger boyfriend.

it was a story about long wait, courage, and happiness.  I found the story especially interesting because I was the one who gave up too early and tried to please everyone except myself.  If we are expecting happiness, that should be something that only happens to you and only you can feel and enjoy it.

the case are usually that we tried to please everyone without realizing the priority of importance.  As long as you feel happy, that can be the most important.  However, it isn’t necessarily to neglect the feelings from those we care and those who care for us.  It becomes more complicated when there is a conflict among one another.

I don’t have a final solution.  Maybe it is not to escape but to negotiate and to fight for what you want.  In the end, take the responsibility and enjoy the freedom and result no matter what.

likability

The talent show performer was criticized for being too arrogant and lacking in likability.  It was true that there is a fine line between confidence and conceit.  Sometimes you think that you know everything, and everything has been assessed deliberately.   Then you start losing the ability to accept other’s opinions and begin self satisfied.  Your knowledge and skills can be the most precious in the world and the heaviest burdens on the other hand.  So what to do to avoid this kind of situation?  Will there ever be an answer, an ultimate solution?

Nobody is perfect.  Even the most talented celebrities, idols, or stars are after all human beings.  Some people have the charisma while others don’t.  Sometimes it comes naturally, and sometimes it’s developed and trained.  What should we do to achieve all what we want?  Somebody stay where they are while others move out of their comfort zone.  There are always conflicts and arguments in reality.  We escape into an imaginary world, luckily we live happily forever and ever, just like fairy tales.  Sometimes we cannot avoid our own vanity and endless desire.  The differences are how strong you are, both mentally and physically, and last but not the least environmentally.

Half the Journey

So I left one metropolitan city and moved into another one.  I attended some courses and went on some trips.  By visiting so many places, I believe I will find something over there.  Ironically, it becomes a journey to discover where I come from.

I was the type of person eager to search for answers.  Then I became somehow confused about the meaning behind.  I was taught to memorize what was already known and to ignore what I didn’t understand.  The key skills later turned into one big ignorant disaster.

If contented, I would have led this kind of life style forever safe and sound.  However, I was too ambitious to stay where I was.  There is limit for life.  It meant nothing barely to live longer than others.  Observe, choose, and then focus.  By doing so can I accomplish something different.  Everybody has got talent.  Some are hidden while others are obvious.  Make good use of them with a time frame to make progress before the journey ends.

Always a half way to go.

negotiation

You want something based on your needs.  You’d love to trade with someone who has what  you need.  You count what you have and deal with the counter party. 

inequality vs. fairness

The two historians said there was a limit.  You cannot put all your resources waiting for someone to follow up.  You need to let go even if they cannot follow your step.