okay, I can accept that you would like me to help even though that is your job to close the case now.  however, I am not obliged to offer my time and energy and to figure out what you actually need.  So maybe you should change that attitude.

Sometimes we don’t perceive what we are doing because we are way too focused on what we haven’t done and on how to finish the task as soon as possible.  we may seek for assistance but the point becomes why others should do so to make you feel happy.  it is always important to do some homework first before you look for advice.

We have to know precisely what we want so that others can help you reach the point.  What’s more, it is better that we should always feel appreciated with gratitude.  it is our responsibility instead of others’ to finish our own assignments.  Based on that, even when the results are not necessarily what you want at the very beginning, it is also your choice after all.

I presume the right attitude to be grateful no matter what.

to a certain degree, I am snobbish.  this does not necessarily mean that I despise people who are less smart or in lower class.  however, I do enjoy something with more snob appeal. 

there are so many elites in the society, who are smart, intelligent, hard-working, and willing to put efforts into what they want.  they care about the society or themselves.  they spend more time figuring out what could be done to improve the status instead of only making complaints.  on the contrary, there are some people who don’t act like these.  maybe due to background, education, or attitude, they cannot help but feel betrayed by the society or others.  they think of what they don’t have neglecting how others achieve the success as their definition.

there are all kinds of people in the society.  sometimes we cannot blame the situation because that’s how it’s formed at the very beginning.  after centuries of revolution, we are still at where we were.  the theories are always there trying to improve the setting.  millions of money and efforts were put into educating people and improving their living status.  however, more get used to this kind of “sponsorship” or compensation system and take these for granted.  they should have what they already have without realizing why.  well, these are to stabilize the society and to make it still function.

(we believe) that we choose the government, and then the government will pick the right people to serve us and everything will operate as planned if there is any.  the problem is we don’t always choose the right people and there is often a ambiguous definition of “what right is.”  some people believe in the power of people, or say, the power itself should be awed.

the answer?  maybe we all need to learn how to be a snob but not really behave as one.

the reality would always be that we are afraid the chances of failure are bigger than success: the one we give all our hearts will betray us; the person who once loved us will leave; the sky will collapse some day, and it will not be likely to control everything even if we want.

The point locates on whether we are satisfied with the result when comparing to the efforts we make.  On the other hand, life is full of risks.  Yet some risks are controllable while others are not.  It is to trust our own feelings while surveying all possibilities in advance in a limited amount of time.  Make a choice, and then go for it.  If you are conservative and insecure, you might leave a room for getting hurt.  If you are courageous, brave, and gutsy, you will be ready for the full enjoyment of a process of reaching what you want.  It is to my belief that while the latter attitude can bring the ultimate euphoria, the former attitude keeps you from full enjoyment but limits the harm you may get.  There is no correct answer for adopting which ways of thinking.  However, as a mature grown-up, people always examine what they have before taking the first step.  Some people are ambitious for greatness while others are content with the present situation.  It can be argued that the future is unpredictable.  Are you ready for the changing environment?  I don’t have a clue.  But it is sometimes necessary to maintain the continuous heart-searching.

The peace locates on the moment where you are, and where you are going to.

despite striving for final exams and delayed dissertation proposal, I was watching a Taiwanese soap opera “my queen” recently.

the plot was about one 30 something female professional, who is under the pressure of Asian society value system of getting married before 33 and dating a younger boyfriend.

it was a story about long wait, courage, and happiness.  I found the story especially interesting because I was the one who gave up too early and tried to please everyone except myself.  If we are expecting happiness, that should be something that only happens to you and only you can feel and enjoy it.

the case are usually that we tried to please everyone without realizing the priority of importance.  As long as you feel happy, that can be the most important.  However, it isn’t necessarily to neglect the feelings from those we care and those who care for us.  It becomes more complicated when there is a conflict among one another.

I don’t have a final solution.  Maybe it is not to escape but to negotiate and to fight for what you want.  In the end, take the responsibility and enjoy the freedom and result no matter what.

The talent show performer was criticized for being too arrogant and lacking in likability.  It was true that there is a fine line between confidence and conceit.  Sometimes you think that you know everything, and everything has been assessed deliberately.   Then you start losing the ability to accept other’s opinions and begin self satisfied.  Your knowledge and skills can be the most precious in the world and the heaviest burdens on the other hand.  So what to do to avoid this kind of situation?  Will there ever be an answer, an ultimate solution?

Nobody is perfect.  Even the most talented celebrities, idols, or stars are after all human beings.  Some people have the charisma while others don’t.  Sometimes it comes naturally, and sometimes it’s developed and trained.  What should we do to achieve all what we want?  Somebody stay where they are while others move out of their comfort zone.  There are always conflicts and arguments in reality.  We escape into an imaginary world, luckily we live happily forever and ever, just like fairy tales.  Sometimes we cannot avoid our own vanity and endless desire.  The differences are how strong you are, both mentally and physically, and last but not the least environmentally.

So I left one metropolitan city and moved into another one.  I attended some courses and went on some trips.  By visiting so many places, I believe I will find something over there.  Ironically, it becomes a journey to discover where I come from.

I was the type of person eager to search for answers.  Then I became somehow confused about the meaning behind.  I was taught to memorize what was already known and to ignore what I didn’t understand.  The key skills later turned into one big ignorant disaster.

If contented, I would have led this kind of life style forever safe and sound.  However, I was too ambitious to stay where I was.  There is limit for life.  It meant nothing barely to live longer than others.  Observe, choose, and then focus.  By doing so can I accomplish something different.  Everybody has got talent.  Some are hidden while others are obvious.  Make good use of them with a time frame to make progress before the journey ends.

Always a half way to go.

You want something based on your needs.  You’d love to trade with someone who has what  you need.  You count what you have and deal with the counter party. 

You don’t know how much he/ she want from you to get the deal.  The information you have is what you want for this trade and how much you are willing to pay for this trade.  You need to calculate and collect the information.  You need to know how much happiness/profits you are going to gain out of this trade.  Then you know whether what you pay is correspondent to its value.

If you don’t know the whole situation because you are too lazy to spend some time analyzing the environment and what you need.  You need extremely good luck to make a bargain deal.  If you are too kind to your counter party, it is likely that you pay much more than others if he/she is good at business and the negotiation skills.  However, if you are rich and willing to pay more for the time, that will be fine.  It is just a luxury.

Who you are and what you want are always the basic question for everyone.

The two historians said there was a limit.  You cannot put all your resources waiting for someone to follow up.  You need to let go even if they cannot follow your step. 

Those who are too poor to study, if they are really talented, they will find their own way.  It is a big shock to me because the education always teach us to take care of others’ needs.  You need to provide the opportunity for everyone to succeed.  What should the government do?  What is your priority?  Do they really mean that only the smartest and wealthiest people can have their luxury to enter the university and those who cannot afford should decide what to do based on their skills, ability, and leverage their own strength and weakness.  What are the needs?  How should a public sector help to meet everyone’s needs.  If you are poor and unhealthy, should we say “sorry, you may need to die,” or “I will help you to survive.”  What is the morality of social standard?  Each society and each education are quite unique.  However, when it contracts with each other, who win?  What to do if you are the weak one?  What to do if you are on the strong side?

I think historically, the wealthy one stand out to say “hey, we will help you to survive.”  It may end up with a disaster because the strong ones thought differently from what the weak ones do.  Sometimes there is a need and a fate to fit in.  People make choices and bear the results happily or tragically.

What is the problem of fairness?  You sacrifice some people’s needs to take care of the others.  How much are you willing to sacrifice and who makes the decision?  Are you part of the decision team?  Will you be end up with the poor group?  If your pride do not allow you to deal with the other people, what can you do with the situation?  What will the system based on?  Is it based on stability or future profitability?  There is always a risk on things.  What is happiness?  What is the trade-off of your happiness?  Is this fair to you?  Is this fair to others?  I believe the argument will continue as long as there are different segments of people.  What is the consequence?  Are you ready for that?

When you watch the fall sunset in a chilly neighborhood of Manchester, with background music of David Gray, there is something different.  The whole texture of scene seems stopped in that specific moment. 

The atmosphere brings you back to a sense of deja vu.  There are always some moments that are special and tranquil.  You woke up in that Sunday morning, hiking, and then stayed in the sun breathing the winds between the forests.  You stayed in that library, watching the film, taking a nap, and then writing some journals to record your fresh thought.

You went to a hotel for dining, waiting for the elevator, and felt it happened before, maybe in dreams.

You remembered those textures of things and then went to bed with memories at heart, knowing how rich you were.

You buy because there is a need.  You sell, because there is benefit.

Then it became complicated when different people were looking for different products. 

Or when you earned lots of money, and faced the competition.  Earning a living is different from making a fortune.  It is however a destiny for you to choose a career.

Historically, there are kings, upper class, middle class, labors, officers, slaves, beggars, entertainers, and so on.  Kingdom fell apart, the middle class became mass.  Some people decide to hold democracy while others believe there are other options.  What is the nature of management or government?  What is strategy regarding changes?  What are the fundamental needs?  Where could you find the answers if you only obey what they teach?  Go for the factual answers no matter they are ugly or not.  The root of commerce is to satisfy the needs.  It is the system and people inside the organization making the faulty decision.  It is the nature of greed.  The problem is how you deal with human nature besides product, price, place, and promotion.

They say, commerce is ugly.  No, it is only a nature of the world.